Tag: celebrities

A Better Reason to Mock Lauren Conrad

Yes!  LC is back in the news! Ya heard she went all Edward Scissorhands on Snicket, yes?

Behold this awesome photo I threw together in library school using Microsoft Word, cut and paste and alotta heart (I don’t have Photoshop, obvs).

It’s not the kind of thing I should probably admit publicly, but I have seen every single episode of Laguna Beach, The Hills and The City.  We all have our vices.

Okay, full disclosure: I also own a Lauren Conrad for Kohl’s white blazer.  That I wore today (seriously). But it was a cute outfit! I’m going to go take a picture of it right now to prove it to you.

I have a deep and complex love/hate relationship with Lauren Conrad that is mostly hate.  I used to tweet about it a lot way back in ’09.  Even Heidi and Spencer were following me for awhile (if you don’t know who those people are, you are richer for it). I also wrote an unnecessarily long paper about Lauren Conrad and transmedia in library school.  This involved having to read L.A. Candy.  Thankfully only the first book of the trilogy was out at the time.

When I was researching the paper,  I read a lot about Lauren’s views on writing.  I got to thinking afterwards – who is the antithesis of Lauren Conrad when it comes to words of wisdom on writing for young people?  The answer is Katherine Paterson.  Duh. And this blog post was born.

The most annoying thing about Lauren Conrad is not the fact that she cut up perfectly good books.  The most annoying thing about her is that she seems to take herself really seriously as a writer. She talks about her “process” and all this other nonsense when she is really a celebrity with a ghost writer.  I think that, when you are a reality television start turned author, you either have to own up to the fact about that you have a ghostwriter and/or formally acknowledge them (a la Hilary Duff) or be so drunk and crazy all the time that you never talk about your own book seriously (a la Snookie)

So let’s make fun of Lauren for being a pretentious wannabe writer.

Then you can make fun of me for buying a Lauren Conrad blazer.

Then we will all get what we deserve.

Tammy Grimes and Esther Averill. Audiobooks Don’t Get Better.

Even though I have this audiobook in my possession, I haven’t heard it for at least fifteen years.  I can only find it on vinyl and I don’t have a record player!  But, nevertheless, an ode to Averill and Grimes is in order.

I wish I could take better, not-dark picture in my living room. Sadly, this was the best of eleven...

I was a major audiobook kid.  I’m still very much an audiobook person.  I like to listen to them on the bus or while cleaning/putzing about the house.  If I’m doing something where I can’t devote 100% of my attention to the story, I’ll put on Charlotte’s Web read by E.B. White – my theory is that, if I listen to him enough, I’ll soak up some of his writing style.  Or I’ll develop a booming Massachusetts twang.

My favourite audiobooks as a chidler were Roald Dahl’s Matilda and The Witches (I can’t remember the readers – lovely British ladies) and the abridged Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Avonlea and Anne of the Island read by Megan Follows.  But nothing can ever top Esther Averill’s Jenny and the Cat Club read by Tammy Grimes (1978).

Grimes was a Broadway and television actress whose best-known audiobook accomplishment is likely Where The Wild Things Are (in addition to some other Sendak stories).  But man oh man, she nails Jenny Linsky.

Jenny Linsky is a black cat.  She lives with Captain Tinker (best name ever).  At night she rolls with her feline friends in the Cat Club: Concertina, Mr. President, Macaroni, The Duke, Romulus, Remus, Arabella, Antonio, and Solomon.  Anyone who doesn’t know these books is at a serious disadvantage in life.

I don’t know what it is about Grimes’ voice that lends itself so well to Averill’s stories.  There is something very old-fashioned and dear about the Jenny Linsky tales (the synopsis on the record calls them “unpretentious little classics”) and there is nothing particularly dear about Grimes’ voice.  It sounds very much like a cross between an ashtray, a cat’s purr, and a grandmotherly cajoling.

But there is something about Grimes’ reading that makes you believe she is just as pumped about the story as you are – she is utterly engaged and expressive to the hilt (but not in an overdone way).    I think I loved the audiobook so much because I felt like I had a kindred spirit in Grimes – she was just as wild about Jenny as I was. You could just hear it in her voice.

I borrowed the cassette tape over and over again from the library until one day it just disappeared (or, as I understand now, it went to the Land of the Weeded).  I thought about it often over the years and it was the first thing I looked up in WorldCat upon entering library school.  Now I just need to get my hands on (and learn how to use) a record player…

Book Covers: Testicular Heart Cherries are to Girly YA as Silhouettes are to Evolution Kidlit

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that silhouetted book covers and evolution have been mad played out lately.  Behold, this image I constructed with Microsoft Word and a screenshot program (Photoshop is beyond me) that I posted a few months ago to illustrate what many others already know:

Sidenote: I am introducing Half Brother author Kenneth Oppel (along with some other very talented authors like Richard Newsome and Richard Scrimger) at the Vancouver International Writers Festival next month.  Lots of swooning to follow.

I snarikly tweeted some time ago that Lo Bosworth of The Hills has a book coming out that features some testicular-looking cherries on the front.  But it seems she’s not alone!  Alexandra Diaz’s Of All the Stupid Things also has the same testicular cherries, complete with matching heart stem!

Diaz’s cover was first, so Lo is officially getting sloppy seconds.  If I find a third cover like this (three cherries – very Vegas slot machine), methinks it will officially be a trend.

The 1920s: (Will Be) So Hot Right Now

Most of the time, I write a post because I would like to think I have something kinda, sorta interesting to say or share.

However, I am writing this post because I want to be able to say I told you so.

For the most hardcore of the hardcore young people’s book/culture peeps, this probably won’t be breaking news. But I want to officially throw my hat into the “The 1920s are going to be the next big thang with young people” ring.

The Evidence

I’ll preface this by saying that I’m probably missing a lot of stuff here – if you know of something else, throw your hat in the ring too!  That’s what the Comments Section is for!  You’ll be happy you did it when this trend really takes hold. Embrace smugness with me.

Lauren Conrad has a thing for the 1920s

In an interview with Seventeen earlier this summer, Lauren included The Great Gatsby on the list of her favourite books (in addition to her own books, of course – super classy) and said she dresses up like a flapper almost every Halloween.  While Lauren isn’t the peon of fashion or culture for anyone over 17, she’s a mover and shaker with lil’ pups born after 1994.

Anna Godbersen’s Bright Young Things

Surprisingly, I read The Luxe (and the plot summaries of the next three books in the series on Wikipedia) and I didn’t consider it a total waste of my life.

Godbersen’s next foray into bubblegum YA lit will be Bright Young Things, to be released in October 2010.

The book’s set in…you guessed it…1929.  The synopsis includes a whole lotta exciting nouns like “flappers” and “showgirls” and “socialites.”  I guess there isn’t much sexy about “The Great Crash,” but, y’know, that wasn’t too big of a deal.

Libba Bray’s The Diviners

This promises to be the thinking person’s Bright Young Things. As Publishers Weekly reported, Bray got a seriously ballin’ advance for a four-book “supernatural fantasy series set in Manhattan during the 1920s.”  Bray is universally regarded as awesome by both teens and librarians, so this is going to be a big deal come 2012.

The Great Gatsby Video Game

Most people heard of this and thought, “What a cute lil’ thing to tweet and put on my Facebook.”  Meanwhile, I let out a  maniacal laugh as I added it to my mounting list of evidence.

Teen Vogue and the Twenties

Teen Vogue has been all over the twenties lately.  Most recently, their “best dressed reader of the day” (caps are so outta style) proclaimed that she loves the twenties because “It was such a classy era, but at the same time, the clothing choices always hinted toward mischief and revolution.”  “Hinted toward mischief and revolution?!?”  I wish I had been that articulate at sixteen.

And, finally…

Even Snooki gave the twenties a (historically inaccurate) shout-out!

Yes, I watch The Jersey Shore. On the first episode of Season Two (i.e. – two Thursdays ago) Snooki was washing clothes in the sink (after an accident involving white booty shorts and a red alcoholic beverage) and lamented, “I feel like a pilgrim from the friggin’ 20s washing s—.”  Lovely.

I received a Bumpit for Christmas and couldn't resist a splitscreen poof comparison.

So, there you have it.  I’ve got my fingers crossed that the 1920s really is the next big thang, and not just kind-sorta-the-next-big-thang like fallen angels proved to be.

A Category of Books I Like to Call “The Brad Pitts”

You know how Oprah always asks people, “What do you know for sure?” and they always answer with syrupy stuff like “My mom was always right,” and “There is nothing better in this world than a child’s laugh,” and nonsense crap like “I am finally myself.”  Well, this is what I know for sure:

Brad Pitt is an attractive man.

Even when he’s all bearded and dirty, you can still tell there is a really good-looking man under all that mange.

Wouldn’t you, too, acknowledge that Brad Pitt is a very attractive man, even if you are not attracted to him yourself?  If not, please pretend you do, because the entire conceit of this post depends on you agreeing that Brad Pitt is an attractive man.

I am one of those people who can see, objectively, that Brad Pitt is a stunner.  But the thing is, I’m not personally attracted to him.  It can be the same with books; I can objectively tell that a book is really great, has a definite audience, and meets a real need without truly loving the book myself.  Thus, I give you the definition of a Brad Pitt book:

brad pitt book n. a book that one can, no matter his/her personal preferences, recognize as possessing high merit.

When learning any new concept, examples are helpful.  Here are some of my personal Brad Pitts.  Before you go off your chain in the comments section, remember the definition of a BP.  I’m not saying that any of these are bad books or even mediocre books.  Far from it.  These are books that I know are great, and that I enjoyed reading, but just didn’t reach out and grab me by the throat.  If I had reviewed these books I would have given them a great review (just like I gave two thumbs up to seeing Brad Pitt’s tush in Troy).

Perhaps one of the greatest BPs of all time for me has been Harry Potter. I understood why others would eat their own foot to read the books, but I couldn’t get beyond a little nibble of my baby toe.  Again, like any BP, I enjoyed it, but didn’t fall in love.  Same with the Westing Game; got the decades of hype, but didn’t feel it myself.

A more recent example is Smile by Raina Telgemeier.  Fabulous book. I even had similar orthodontic drama involving pulled teeth and braces.  But, for whatever reason, my heart wasn’t in it.

I should also make it clear what a Brad Pitt book is not:

A book that everyone else likes but I really didn’t like

Comparable celebrities here are the likes of Josh Duhamel, Bradley Cooper, and Robert Pattinson.  These are all dudes that many people find scrumptious but I, well, don’t.

Savvy was a big one for me.  Also, Incarceron. Unlike the BPs, I didn’t enjoy these books at all and had trouble seeing what others saw in them.  To each their own kinda thing.

A book that looks pretty on the outside but (I think) is a stinker inside

Don’t forget that Brad Pitt is not only good-looking, but also a stand-up fella (wife swapping aside, he’s charitable).  Therefore, a true BP book has to be good on the inside and outside.

The Carrie Diaries is one hot little number.  The jacket feels kind of leathery and soft and I can’t resist that pink, spray-painty font.  But unlike two of my favourite, very insightful YA reviewers (Tea Cozy and Reading Rants), I dang well hated it.

I’m always interested to hear what other people consider BPs.  It’s also interesting to consider which books are true BPs (i.e. – have merit but didn’t grab you) and which have just been over-hyped (i.e. – BPs in Robert Pattinson’s clothing).